Desperate Times for Southern Africa's Heavyweights
This Saturday at the Free State Toyota Stadium, two struggling giants – South Africa and Zimbabwe – will clash in what’s essentially a COSAFA Cup elimination match in disguise.
✔ South Africa – Lost their opener despite 70% possession (the football gods hate them)
✔ Zimbabwe – Couldn’t score against Mauritius (yes, that Mauritius)
✔ Stakes? Basically, who avoids total humiliation first?
South Africa: Possession Kings, Scoring Clowns
The Good News:
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They dominated Mozambique (11 shots, 70% possession).
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They haven’t lost to Zimbabwe since 2013 (a decade-plus of bragging rights).
The Bad News:
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They still lost 1-0 because finishing is apparently optional.
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Coach Vela Khumalo is now in "must-win or face national fury" territory.
Key Question: Will they actually shoot on target this time, or just pass the ball into oblivion again?
Zimbabwe: VAR’s Favorite Victims
The Warriors’ Woes:
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VAR robbed them of a goal vs Mauritius (thanks, technology!).
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7 games without a win (their last victory was in October… of last year).
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Stand-in coach Tagarira Marange is already regretting saying yes to this job.
Silver Lining? At least they didn’t lose to Mauritius… but that’s like bragging you didn’t drown in a puddle.
Who Wins? A Battle of Who Wants It Less
South Africa’s Hope:
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History is on their side (2 straight wins vs Zimbabwe).
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Home crowd advantage (if anyone still shows up after that Mozambique disaster).
Zimbabwe’s Chance:
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Bafana’s finishing is tragic.
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They’ve got nothing to lose (which makes them dangerous).
Prediction: A 1-0 grind—either way. (Extra points if VAR ruins someone’s day again.)
Why You Should Watch (Or Not)
✔ Comedy gold – Will either team remember how to score?
✔ Desperation football – Lose here, and the COSAFA Cup becomes a national embarrassment.
✔ VAR drama – Because nothing spices up a 0-0 like a 5-minute offside check.
Your Turn:
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Who’s winning this?
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Will South Africa’s finishing improve, or is another disaster coming?
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Should Zimbabwe just start praying for a miracle?